And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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