i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
