i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
