i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
