: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
