I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
