Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
