just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
