foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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