Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I think I sprained my soul last night
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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