The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
