you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
