After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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