Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
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