What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
