But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
