So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
