My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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