I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
