I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
