You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
