i would punch a child for taco bell
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
