Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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