I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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