I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
