3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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