Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
