I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize