Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
