shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
