so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
