Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
