i need an iv and a liver transplant
Need sex. Gaining weight.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
whose parrot is this?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
