so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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