all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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