Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
