bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
