your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
