I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
