My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
where does the pee come out of this thing
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Who died my cat blue again?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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