the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Randomize
