Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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