actually, I'm a sock model
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
