how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
