I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
