so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
