I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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