She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
