Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
