yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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