Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
